An Interview with Santa
(published in the December 2003 DINJA Magazine, a magazine for children)
The young readers of DINJA magazine prepared these questions for Santa.
Q -
Does anyone ever get to ride in the sleigh?
A -Only some of the elves. For the past few years, Elmo the Clumsy Elf has been on every run. (Which explains why sometimes I promise someone a present that they don’t get - Elmo accidentally drops things on occasion, and if he’s near the side of the sleigh, they go over the edge. We lost a Lexus that way last year over Cleveland.)
Q -What do you and the elves do in the off season?
A -Other than the week between Christmas and New Year’s, when we all take a breather, there IS no “off season” - we start back on January 2nd making toys for the next year.
Q -What part does Mrs. Claus have in all of the holiday festivities?
A -She designs all the doll clothing and she supervises the care and feeding of the elves, making sure they get plenty of good, nourishing food and plenty of
rest. She also oversees the production of candy-canes and other Christmas
candies. And of course, she tries to keep old Santa healthy.
Q -What do you feed the reindeer to make them fly?
A -It’s not a special food that makes the reindeer fly - they fly because of
the magic of Christmas. If children (of all ages) all over the world stopped
believing in Christmas and Santa Claus, the magic of Christmas would be gone,
and the reindeer couldn’t fly any more!
Q -How do you decide who you deliver the presents to first?
A -It’s all very complicated. The elves keep up with weather patterns and the trade winds. They correlate that with areas where major concentrations of good children live. And finally, we work from east to west so we can take advantage of the time zones. Since there are many more children now that in the long-ago past, we need computers help us come up with the best schedule.
Q -What’s the cut off line for “naughty” and “nice”?
A -This one is a judgement call, but if you have been “naughty” most of the
year, you know it. And changing to “nice” for a week or two before Christmas
(even though it will help a little) just isn’t going to help a whole lot. To get
the REALLY good stuff, you have to be nice for most of the year.
Q -Do you bring presents to animals too?
A -Not usually, although occasionally an animal will do something so special
that they deserve a reward.
Q -What’s your favorite vacation spot?
A -What’s a vacation? As I said before, as soon as we recover from the current Christmas, we start work on toys for next year.
Q -What’s a better snack to leave for you - cookies and milk or cheese, like the commercials say?
A -Even though the cheese commercial is widely shown, the truth is that Santa would prefer cookies and milk or just a coke (Mrs. Claus says make it a diet Coke - I’m supposed to be watching my waistline). Besides, I always get plenty of cheese when I deliver presents in Wisconsin.
Q -What happens if there is no chimney at the house?
A -Christmas magic kicks in and Santa can enter the house through a keyhole, under a door, or even down the three-inch vent pipe for the heating system. Don’t worry - Santa always finds a way to deliver your toys.
Q -How cold is it at the North Pole?
A -While it’s true that the area around the North Pole is mostly covered with ice and snow, Santa’s Workshop is located in Christmas Valley, where we have a range of seasons - we even have enough sunshine and warm weather to have flowers in the spring.
Q -Where do you get your groceries at the North Pole?
A -We get them from the North Pole Grocery Store. (Where THEY get them, I’ve never asked.)
Q -Is your suit trimmed with real fur?
A -No. It used to be long ago, but today’s synthetics are much warmer, easier to keep clean, and don’t require the killing of any animals.
Q -Why choose to live in the North Pole and not somewhere luxurious like Paris or Hawaii?
A -Basically, we are located at the North Pole because our work is so important that we need to do it without a lot of interruptions. If we were in some exotic location we would be overrun with visitors, and we also would always be taking off to go sightseeing or something. Don’t get me wrong - we do take time to play, and we have a lot of fun. But when we need to get to work we don’t need any distractions.
Q -Do you have any other animals at the North Pole, besides the reindeer?
A -Yes, we do. We have birds and squirrels in the trees and fish in the
streams, and butterflies find their way to our valley in the spring. We also
have a number of house cats and kittens that the elves keep as pets. We also
have pigs, cows and chickens, and even a horse or two.
Q -What is your all-time favorite toy?
A -That would have to be the Etch-a-Sketch. I’ve always liked it because it allows a child to express his or her creativity, plus it’s a lot of fun.
Q -Do you and Mrs. Claus have any kids?
A -Yes we do. But they’re all grown up and have moved away from home. We also have seven grandchildren.
Q -What hobbies, other than toy making, do you enjoy?
A -My favorite hobbies, when I have the time, are cooking, reading and
photography. I also used to enjoy model railroading, but I haven’t had time to
do anything with the trains in quite a few years.
Q -Why do we hang stockings on the fireplace mantle?
A -In the old days your grandparents would receive some fruit, a little candy, and maybe some nuts plus a couple of small presents, or maybe one larger
present. Everyone had fireplaces, and that’s how Santa entered the house. “The
stockings were hung by the chimney with care,” as the poem goes, because that
made them easier for old Santa to find after coming down the chimney. Now I
bring many more toys and presents, but I still remember the old days when I
could put almost everything in those stockings that were so easy to find.
Q -Do you have a Christmas tree at the North Pole?
A -Yes - even if I didn’t want one (like THAT would ever happen), the elves
insist on it. The tree is growing right outside the workshop and is about twenty
feet tall. The elves all pitch in to decorate it themselves, and we have a
decorating party every year the week after Thanksgiving.
Q -What do you eat for dinner on Christmas Eve?
A -Knowing that I’m going to be snacking on cookies, milk, Coke and cheese all night, I usually just have a couple of pieces of fruit and maybe a little
eggnog.
Q -Do you make ALL the toys yourself?
A -Actually, the elves make most of the toys these days. Santa has been around for a long time, and his fingers aren’t as nimble as they used to be. The elves are much faster, and with the number of toys we have to make today, speed is essential. Don’t get me wrong, when it comes to the old standards - trucks, wagons, alphabet blocks - I’m as fast as any of the elves. But some of the elves are specialists. When it comes to making an X-Box or a laptop computer, I depend on them.
Q -How long does it take to make all the toys?
A -We work on them all year long. Some of the elves are still making toys as others are loading the sleigh for the trip!
Q -What is your favorite color?
A -Red, of course.
Q -Do you wear a seat belt while riding in the sleigh?
A -Keep in mind that the sleigh is old and was made before seat belts were
required in vehicles. The elves installed a seat belt for me, and I wear it most
of the time while travelling, but I sometimes have to move around the sleigh to
get the next load of toys ready to go, and at those times I don’t wear the seat
belt. But YOU should wear a seat belt at all times when you’re riding in a car.
I want you to be safe so you will be around for the next Christmas.
Q -What do you think about global warming - does it affect your toy delivery?
A -I think the scientists are right when they say that global warming is
occurring, but it is very gradual, and so far it hasn’t affected my delivery
schedule. It is a little harder for the sleigh to operate without snow, but with
the new Teflon runners, we can still get around pretty easily. I really don’t
think global warming will be a factor for me for many, many years.
